Believing words
Is this Too Good To Be True
No matter what this virtual man says, that I am mean and terrible, I want to meet him. There are and were ups and downs created misunderstandings in our one sided communication. Why this happened might have been things out of his control in the center of the tornado middle of the Midwest. Or such a strong holding against the ideas of the past that no sweet woman is able to get the space to fill with caring communication
It is you or me, not you and me. I did not get to know what was in the basis of our interactions and the conversations. I just am not able to call and have the phone picked up with the person at the other end answering. Is this fixable?
I feel Crushed under the weight of one sided contact. I do not know how this proceeded from our March beginning. I am emotionally drained because of the intensity of my desire to meet this man who said he was flying to me every other day from the early April until last Saturday May 22. I was high and happy then to find it was not happening I was drained, very drained of the energy to keep on going in my already complicated life.
People relax and say Yes or No with intent to act on the words. This was a problem, because I fully believed the yes and found the unspoken no though the words were all about something happening at his end. Week after and no meeting happened and the phone calls stopped. Weeks dragged on. I see it now , as a series of events bent on bending my delight into despair, that his words are parading as affection which might be totally true just did not register in my phone and this one sided conversation exhausted and drained my little energy. I have to take better care of myself since I have some physical illness. I need caring attention. I deserve to have a warm arm related to a kind and caring relationship. I need to go to sleep to rest and not fall into bed crying night after night.
Several months ago, the first week of March of this year, a person started writing to me saying he found me and wanted to help me with some of my Sync Problems! By March 9 he was writing asking me If I was able to get other text messages in my Blackberry phone. Then on that same March 9th afternoon I got a message in my computer email asking to connect by phone at 8:00 pm. He would call me. On March 10th I wrote asking if he had called because my phone did not ring. This turned out to be the pattern. I was not able to pick up the phone ever to say hello and I would be told that I would be called and it became a sometimes yes and more times no calls or contacts from March, April ,May. Now June. What a tight tension in the string along. I thought He was the ONE of the Ones! Title 1 Sports!
He said he saw my profile on a Chris Pirillo Site…The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them, he says on the Chris Prillio web site. He said so many romantic things. Though it was a virtual contact and completely digital and a few phone calls my brain and heart started to believe the stories! He writes: ‘Oh then how about you email me when you get in and are all settled and I'll give you a call.’
By March 19 I get this delightful message from this distant delightful man
| show details Mar 18 |
I can assure you that my thoughts are anything but completely innocent lol.
I have to say that, when I first contacted you from Chris's post, I just thought you would be a really cool friend. Now, I find myself wishing I lived closer so that I could work to convince you of more. I find you alluring. Your intelligence, insight, and empathy for others is intoxicating and there is a sensual side to you that sizzles through even when you're not consciously trying to allow it to. It is indeed my wish that I could be the lucky man to win your heart but, whatever happens, I am very happy that I've brought something into your life that you're able to enjoy. You're an incredible woman Ilsa, and I don't think you fully know that yet.
Why was the man you broke up with in September so bad? What did he do that made you so unhappy? Whatever it was, I'm glad you leaned from it and willnot let someone like that near you again. You deserve a good man, someone who loves you , and someone who values you.
I do hope that when you go to bed you sleep well. I know I certainly will as I often drift to sleep thinking about you or some conversation we've had.
Me
